Long-Distance Caregiving for Aging Parents

Identify your loved ones’ needs

• Do your parents currently need skilled medical help, like in-home nursing care?
• Do they need help with daily personal care?
• Do they need transportation to doctors and other appointments?
• Do they need home modifications, such as wheelchair ramps or grab bars?
• Do they need help with household chores such as cooking, shopping, and cleaning?
• Do they need legal assistance or help with money matters?
• Do they need opportunities to socialize with others?

1. Leverage local support: Reach out to nearby relatives or friends who can check on your parents regularly. Whether it’s the neighbor downstairs or a nephew across town, having someone local can provide added peace of mind.
2. Engage with local places of worship: Places of worship often have community support systems. A local clergyman or a member of your parent’s church group might be available for regular visits to provide spiritual and social support.
3. Combat loneliness through community: Encourage your parents to join local senior centers or engage in community activities. It’s a great way for them to socialize, especially if they’ve recently faced the loss of a close friend or spouse.
4. Hire professional help: If your parents have ongoing medical conditions or mobility issues, consider hiring a part-time in-home health aide. Home health aides can ensure your loved one takes their medications correctly, monitor any medical issues, and help keep the home a safe living environment.
5. Explore community resources: There’s a wealth of resources available in most communities, such as Meals on Wheels or even adult day care programs. You can use the U.S. Administration on Aging’s Eldercare Locator to easily find these services anywhere in the country.
6. Stay informed: Regularly communicate with any local support you’ve arranged, and keep yourself updated on your parent’s health and well-being. Technology can bridge the distance, making long-distance caregiving much more manageable.

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• Are your parents eating properly? Often, seniors stop cooking, lose interest in eating, and even miss meals completely.
• Are they taking medications as prescribed? Missed doses or overdosing can result in health concerns and even hospitalizations.
• Are their finances in order? Are bills being paid on time, and are important papers organized?
• Is the home being maintained? Is the house neat and clean? Are clothes and dishes being washed? Are needed repairs being done? Other signs of trouble include unmown lawns, piles of unopened mail, and accumulating trash.
• Are they taking care of their appearance? If they wear the same clothes every day or don’t maintain their personal hygiene, it could mean that they’re losing the ability to take care of themselves.
• Is driving becoming a problem? If they can’t drive safely, are they within walking distance of food stores? Do they have transportation to doctors’ offices and other support services?
• Is mobility decreasing? If walking is becoming a problem, your loved ones will be increasingly dependent on others to help them with everyday tasks.
• Are they becoming a danger to themselves? Are they leaving the stove on, cigarettes burning, or doors open or unlocked? These could be signs of dementia, which could pose serious safety issues, especially as long-distance caregiving for dementia patients isn’t recommended.
• Are they becoming reclusive? Reluctance to leave the house, sleeping during the day, and showing disinterest in participating in social activities could all be signs of depression.
• Have there been frequent trips to the hospital? Increased falls or injuries could be signs of mobility and gait problems, while dizziness or flare-ups of ongoing medical conditions could indicate problems with taking medication.

• Copies of your loved ones’ medical records, including names of primary doctors
• Power of attorney
• Living will
• Advance medical directives
• Money put aside for emergency plane fare

• Geriatric care managers
• Home care and companion services
• Elder care attorneys
• Personal emergency response devices and telephone hotlines
• Government and private agency services to provide meals and transportation
• Adult daycare and senior centers
• Long-term assisted living and nursing facilities